GRES' PIMPING RAGE
Ever wonder what the rangers would be like if they were super heros? Well heres a little story that will get you a better look into the Super Hero world.
Chris Cava= Captain Hissy Fit
Andre Benoit= The Orange Oracle
Mike Gresdale= Pinky Pimp
Jamie Minchella= "Helpless little girl"
Sam Skwarchuk= Road Raven
Scott Sheppard= Super Sheppy with his herd of lambs and the super lamb LAMB CHOPS!
tex= sexy texy
And some hoes
Prologue of Gres Pimping Rage:
In a land down under there lived four super heros each with very special powers. The Captain of them was named captain hissy fit his special power was to get very mad on command. One minute he's fine but the next hes growing and all of his clothes start ripping off and he becomes big and green! (No this is not a copy of the hulk. . . .) Captain Hissy fit's sidekick is the orange oracle. The orange oracle has the power to see beyond the present and he also can throw oranges like a bitch! Their roommates are a part of the quartet super hero ring too. Super Sheppy has a herd of sheep. Sure his herd looks all sweet and cute but you wait until Super Sheppy takes out his collection of Cher pictures. . . yes Cher. This is how they attack, Super
Sheppy collects pictures of Cher and his lambs and sheep (arent those the same thing?) Hate her so much that when they see a picture of her they freak out and become all rowdy! Super Sheppy uses this to his advantage being the smart lil bugger he is. So when an enemy is found Super
Sheppy pulls out a picture of Cher out of his pants and throws it on the enemy (since this is totally fictional the picture sticks there with no glue at all) and the lambs attack the picture! In return attacking the enemy, how clever super sheppy. The last super hero is Road Raven, he
doesnt mean to be a super hero he just lives with the other ones and he drives so bad he sometimes actually hits an enemy. But for each enemy he hits, he hits about five other inncoent people, especially his own roommates. How he got his liscense. . . well never know. . The one thing to make this story complete is the bad guy also known as the villain. In this case its Pinky Pimp, hes a hardcore scoundrel that corrupts the world with his pimping cane. Hehas some hoes that he uses as minions. Anywho, lets get back to the story.
Chapter:1 (this whole story is chapter one)
The quartet super heros are in their run-down stinky apartment also known as their hideout. Super Sheppy is giving Lamb Chops a bath while the other lambs and sheep sit in the fieldtotally jealous. Road Raven is revving up his car. . . in the living room. Captain hissy fit is sitting in the living room lounge chair reading how to get mad for dummies while the orange oracle is putting his blue mouth guards in the fridge. . . to be riped.. .
"Damn mouth guards how come they dont ripe as fast as real oranges?!" Orange Oracle
flips out and slams a real orange on the kitchen floor.
"TAKE IT EASY!!!!!" captain hissy fit screams at him. Orange Oracle notices that captain hissy fit is turning a bit green and backs down. In the background the 2 super heros hear Super Sheppy once again talking to Lamb chops.
"What did I tell you about bragging to the other lambs?!?" he scolds Lamb chops, he continues "ok, that is the last time I bring you to the movies! I knew you didnt deserve to see Julia Roberts! I see how the other lambs look at me as if I dont love them" The Orange Oracle and Captain hissy fit just look at each other in dismay. They both shrug their shoulders, you get used to Super Sheppy talking to his lambs.
VROOOM VROOOM! "Thats music to my ears!" yells Road Raven over the sound of his beat up old car that has dents all over it.
"That thing's a piece of crap! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" yells Captain hissy fit at Road Raven
"Oh Maureen, sorry you had to hear that girl!" Road Raven wooed his beat up stank vehicle and patted it.
*TROUBLE IS HERE! TROUBLE IS HERE!* their trouble buzzer sounded and its lights lit up. They wanted it to be purple but Walmart only had it in green in yellow, so instinctively they picked yellow. The sound can be heard miles away and the flashing can give kids a seizure (this is a warning).
"hey guys," he Orange Oracle chimes in "If my sources are right I think trouble is here!!"
"Trouble eh?" Road Raven asks in a mischievous tone. The quartet stop what they are doing and go to their bookshelf. Super Sheppy pulls out Martha Stewart's guide to cookies and the book shelf slides out of the way and a secret lab is waiting for them.
"LETS GET SUITED BOYS!" captain hissy fit yells at the other three. All four go to their corner of the lab and each get into their specially made suits, (thanks Mrs. Shepard). Super Sheppy went to the north corner and put on his farmer suit. A farmer hat, blue jean overalls and
of course, his Cher pictures that he stuffed down his pants.The Orange Oracle went to the west corner and put on his orange protective goggles and loaded up on special florida oranges. Road Raven went to the East corner and put on his cape, bandana with slits cut open for his eyes and a baseball cap. Captain hissy fit went to the south corner and became very angry, with this, all of his clothes ripped off except for some pieces of his shirt and pants.
"Guys, the visual screen is blinking!" Road Raven called. The quartet gathered in front of the screen and their master Sexy Texy came into view.
"Boys! We have a major problem down at the central view cemetary. Pinky Pimp has turned girls into hoes all over the world! Hes captured helpless little girl and is going to make him into one of his hoes! You have to hurry!"
"Oh no! Helpless little girl is one of my good friends!" shouted Super Sheppy he had his hands on his cheeks. The other three just look at him like hes crazy.
"Um. . . let's go!" Super Sheppy screamed. The quartet take Road Ravens beat up stank car and let Captain Hissy fit drive, I mean, they didnt want to die before they arrived did they? When they arrived at the cemetary they could see Pinky Pimp holding helpless little girl in his
arms as hostage. All four jumped out of the car and ran into the cemetary. They were about 11 feet away from Pinky Pimp when he warned them.
"I'm warning you!" Pinky Pimp screamed.
"Who are you? Why the hell are you holding me? do you know where I live? What is your problem? Why have you taken me here? Omg are you an alien????" Helpless little girl questioned. He tried to get out of Pinky Pimps grasp but he was too strong for him. . . . Pinky Pimp ignored helpless little girl and continued. If you take one more step I will sommon all of my hoes with my pimping cane!
"He's bluffing" The Orange Oracle whispered. The Orange Oracle stepped up to Pinky Pimp about an arms length away.
"Bluffing eh?" Pinky Pimp questioned. He raised his pimping cane and struck it into the ground. About 30 hoes came rising out of the ground and they were stinky as hell! "You think your hoes can stop me?" The orange oracle asked. He pulled out his ammo and started chucking the oranges like there was no tomorrow. Super sheppy threw one of his Cher pictures right on one of the hoes foreheads and Lamb Chops and the other lambs and sheep started ripping the ho into pieces. Captain hissy fit roared and started punching and kicking everything in his way.
"Damn it captain hissy fit that was my car!" Yelled Road Raven
"OH YEAH! SORRY! I SHOULD REALLY LOOK AT WHAT IM KICKING ASS AT!" captain hissy fit yelled in a horrendous tone. The quartet was kicking the hoes asses but they
didnt notice Pinky Pimp moving back towards the back of the cemetary. Once they were all done kicking the hoes they found Pinky Pimp and he threatened them.
"If you hurt me, helpless little girl is going down!" Pinky Pimp threatened.
"Ha ha ha like we care!" the orange oracle laughed Super Sheppy looked down at the ground and sighed. The Orange Oracle reached on his orange belt for more oranges but there werent any left. Captain hissy fit's anger disappeared, Sheppy ran out of Cher pictures and
Road Ravens car was beaten to a bloody pulp courtesy of captain hissy fit.
"Ha ha ha! You guys have nothing to kill me with! My pimpingness is going to rule this world!" Pinky Pimp laughed aloud.
"Oh no what do we do?" The Orange Oracle asked worriedly
"Concentrate orange oracle CONCENTRATE!" ordered captain hissy fit. The orange oracle did so and everyone watched, concentrate concentrate concentrate the orange
oracle kept chanting in his head.
"Why the hell is he concentrating? Are you trying to kill me? does my mother know where I am? Are you my mother? What the hell is going on?" helpless little girl kept asking.
"SHUT UP!" captain hissy fit screamed.
Concentrate concentrate concentrate concentrate The orange oracle kept chanting and chanting and finally something happened! The orange oracle thrusted his hand out in front of him and concentrated orange juice flew out of him.
"NOOOOO! I MELTING IM MELTING!!!" screamed Pinky Pimp as he got covered in the orange juice, he let go of helpless little girl and the day was saved.
They saved the world of hoes and their adventures will never cease to end. Come back for another quartet tale and another character may join. . .